Saturday, February 28, 2009

D. Wade, the "Speedy" of Basketball?

Taking a cue from overly oppressive office dress codes everywhere, the NBA has decided that, it too, should further delve into the business of stifling employee expression and creativity. We office drones thought we were the ones subject to draconian laws regulating our belts, bracelets, and bows; but alas, professional basketball players join us as victims of such senseless suppression.

The NBA, in its infinite wisdom, has banned D. Wade's band-aid. Yes, you read that correctly, his band-aid. Apparently, D. Wade, in the view of the NBA, committed an offense more commonly seen on novice fashionistas: he over-accessorized. Who knew the NBA was the fashion police? I've never seen David Stern in Vogue.

Yet, according to the NBA, not only did Mr. Wade commit the favored faux pas of the beads and bangles set, but he is also accused of committing the sin of logo bags everywhere: he "self-promoted." Apparently D.Wade has more in common with the Louis Vuitton Speedy bag than he ever imagined. Yet, if he's smart he hopes to have just one-half of the Speedy bag's relevance on the fiftieth anniversary of his debut. For that matter, likely too does David Stern. ;-)

NBA bans Wade’s Band-Aid
Feb 28, 3:44 am EST

ATLANTA (TICKER) —No more Band-Wade.
Prior to the
Miami Heat’s 91-83 loss to the Atlanta Hawks on Friday night, the NBA banned Heat superstar Dwyane Wade from donning the Band-Aid on his left cheek that quickly had become a fashion statement.

Wade, the league’s leading scorer, originally wore the Band-Aid to seal a cut beneath his left eye. In the following days, including during NBA All-Star Weekend, Wade slapped his name, nickname “Flash” and even the American flag on the Band-Aid, though the wound had healed.
The NBA, doing its best impression of the NFL, wanted to stop the self-promotion.

“We spoke to (the Heat),” NBA spokesman Tim Frank said, according to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. “A player can wear a Band-Aid for healthcare purposes, but it shouldn’t have any name or identifications on it.”
The league aims for conformity at the arena, where players are forced to abide by a strict dress code before and after the game. Citing Frank, the newspaper said that Wade and the Heat weren’t in danger of any penalty but needed a quick reminder.
“We offered clarity to them,” Frank told the Sun-Sentinel. “You can’t wear an identifiable Band-Aid. We don’t expect it to be an issue, so there will be no need for a penalty.”
Two years ago, the NBA banned full-length tights under uniforms, which players had used as a fashion statement rather than for their intended medical use. The same now can be said for Wade’s rather unique facial accessory.

This just goes to show you: fashion is a metaphor for life.

1 comment:

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